rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
