3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
