i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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