Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we're making bets on your personal life
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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