Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
