Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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