I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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