Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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