Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she peed on how many people?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
