hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
