What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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