I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
