I understand Curling. That high.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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