At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
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im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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