Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
