i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
