i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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