best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
