Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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