Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
