Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
