I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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