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i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
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