I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
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so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize