the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
