I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know her cup size but not her name....
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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