Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
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Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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