question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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