There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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