my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
