Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
