my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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