well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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