No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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