i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he was CRYING into my vagina
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
