i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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