My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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