Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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