you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
