I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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