So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
