Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
