anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
