Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
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im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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