somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
