I never want to see another naked old woman again.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
