So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
