PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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