areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
