I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
