I just cut my nipple shaving
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
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I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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