five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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