dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
