Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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