Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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