I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
