i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
