So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
