I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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