So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
