isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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