Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize