Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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